I looked at this girl on myspace.
godDAMN.
confident, flirty... maybe even a bit slutty?
I had never seen her in real life, of course, but most of her pictures were headshots.
upon closer inspection of other people's full body shots of her,
she was actually pretty chubby.
wow. that's fantastic.
obviously she's happy with it, and she gets boyfriends, and whatever...
I mean,
okay, I'm 13.
I've seriously shed a lot of my baby fat.
but of course, I'm still not happy with my body.
...I have tried not eating.
I do purge sometimes.
and even though the scale is sloooooowly going down,
I feel awful.
every time I eat.
so it's my dearest wish,
that 1. I can blossom out of this awkward stage by the time I'm a freshman.
2. I could learn to be comfortable with myself like she is.
I mean, can you imagine how painful it is...
dodging mirrors all the time?
jeeze. my skin is clearer than it's been...
but...
eep.
and my dorky haircut...
and tummy...
I am vain.
and yet I hate myself.
god, I can't imagine what it would be like if I was disfigured.
then again, you must learn to live with yourself pretty early on?
wow. I'm totally rambling right now. I think I'll stop. I AM just a whiny little fat kid...
kind of.
HAYLEY, STOP TYPING NOW.
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1 comment:
Dude, you do not look fat at all. Plus, those girls really actually rarely have any self confidence.They do it to get more attention, so people will possibly say they are 'hot' and they can live with themselves a little more. Nothing is what it seems. Don't allow yourself to be sucked into that mindset!
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